3 Work-At-Home Online Jobs That Aren'T Scams

a few years ago, i got one of those spam emails. and it managedto get through my spam filter. i'm not quite sure how,but it turned up in my inbox, and it was from a guycalled solomon odonkoh. (laughter) i know. it went like this: it said, "hello james veitch,

i have an interesting business proposali want to share with you, solomon." now, my hand was kind of hoveringon the delete button, right? i was looking at my phone.i thought, i could just delete this. or i could do what i thinkwe've all always wanted to do. and i said, "solomon,your email intrigues me." (applause) and the game was afoot. he said, "dear james veitch,we shall be shipping gold to you." "you will earn 10%of any gold you distributes."

so i knew i was dealingwith a professional. i said, "how much is it worth?" he said, "we will startwith smaller quantity," -- i was like, aww -- and then he said, "of 25 kgs. the worth should be about $2.5 million." i said, "solomon, if we'regoing to do it, let's go big. i can handle it.how much gold do you have?" he said, "it is not a matterof how much gold i have,

what matters isyour capability of handling. we can start with 50 kgsas trial shipment." i said, "50 kgs? there's no point doing this at all unless you're shippingat least a metric ton." he said, "what do you do for a living?" i said, "i'm a hedge fundexecutive bank manager." this isn't the first timei've shipped bullion, my friend, no no no.

then i started to panic. i was like, "where are you based?" i don't know about you, but i think if we're goingvia the postal service, it ought to be signed for. that's a lot of gold." he said, "it will not be easyto convince my company to do larger quantity shipment." i said, "solomon, i'm completelywith you on this one.

i'm putting together a visual for youto take into the board meeting. hold tight." this is what i sent solomon. i don't know if we haveany statisticians in the house, but there's definitely something going on. i said, "solomon, attached to this emailyou'll find a helpful chart. i've had one of my assistantsrun the numbers. we're ready for shippingas much gold as possible." there's always a moment where they tryto tug your heartstrings,

and this was it for solomon. he said, "i will be so much happyif the deal goes well, because i'm going to geta very good commission as well." and i said, "that's amazing,what are you going to spend your cut on?" and he said, "on realestate,what about you?" i thought about it for a long time. and i said, "one word; hummus." "it's going places.

i was in sainsbury's the other day and there were like30 different varieties. also you can cut up carrots,and you can dip them. have you ever done that, solomon?" he said, "i have to go bed now." "till morrow. have sweet dream." i didn't know what to say! i said, "bonsoirmy golden nugget, bonsoir."

guys, you have to understand,this had been going for, like, weeks, albeit hitherto the greatestweeks of my life, but i had to knock it on the head. it was getting a bit out of hand. friends were saying, "james,do you want to come for a drink?" i was like, "i can't, i'm expectingan email about some gold." so i figured i hadto knock it on the head. i had to take itto a ridiculous conclusion. so i concocted a plan.

i said, "solomon,i'm concerned about security. when we email each other, we need to use a code." and he agreed. i said, "solomon, i spent all nightcoming up with this code we need to usein all further correspondence: lawyer: gummy bear. bank: cream egg. legal: fizzy cola bottle.claim: peanut m&ms.

documents: jelly beans. western union: a giant gummy lizard." i knew these were all wordsthey use, right? i said, "please call me kitkatin all further correspondence." i didn't hear back.i thought, i've gone too far. i've gone too far.so i had to backpedal a little. i said, "solomon, is the deal still on? kitkat." because you have to be consistent.

then i did get an email back from him. he said, "the business is onand i am trying to blah blah blah ..." i said, "dude, you have to use the code!" what followed is the greatest emaili've ever received. i'm not joking, this is whatturned up in my inbox. this was a good day. "the business is on. i am trying to raise the balancefor the gummy bear -- so he can submit all the neededfizzy cola bottle jelly beans

to the creme egg, for the peanut m&ms process to start. send 1,500 pounds via a giant gummy lizard." and that was so much fun, right, that it got me thinking: like, what would happen if i just spentas much time as could replying to as manyscam emails as i could? and that's what i've been doing

for three years on your behalf. crazy stuff happens when you startreplying to scam emails. it's really difficult, and i highly recommend we do it. i don't think what i'm doing is mean. there are a lot of peoplewho do mean things to scammers. all i'm doing is wasting their time. and i think any timethey're spending with me

is time they're not spendingscamming vulnerable adults out of their savings, right? and if you're going to do this --and i highly recommend you do -- get yourself a pseudonymous email address. don't use your own email address. that's what i was doing at the startand it was a nightmare. i'd wake up in the morningand have a thousand emails about penis enlargements, only one of whichwas a legitimate response --

to a medical question i had. but i'll tell you what, though, guys, i'll tell you what: any day is a good day,any day is a good day if you receive an emailthat begins like this: "i am winnie mandela, the second wife of nelson mandelathe former south african president." i was like, oh! -- that winnie mandela. i know so many. "i need to transfer 45 million dollarsout of the country

because of my husbandnelson mandela's health condition." let that sink in. she sent me this, which is hysterical. and this. and this looks fairly legitimate,this is a letter of authorization. but to be honest, if there's nothingwritten on it, it's just a shape! i said, "winnie,i'm really sorry to hear of this. given that nelson died three months ago, i'd describe his health conditionas fairly serious."

that's the worst health conditionyou can have, not being alive. she said, "kindly complywith my bankers instructions. one love." i said, "of course. no woman, no cry." she said, "my banker will needtransfer of 3000 dollars. one love." i said, "no problemo. i shot the sheriff." [ (but i did not shoot the deputy) ] thank you.